Monday 14 May 2012

This Body Of Mine

My Beagle Smiles, My Poems, My Quotes, Scleroderma And Me
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This Body of Mine

Why isn't my body working?
Why am I trapped by iron bars?
Why talking isn't easy?
and breathing is quite hard
.
Why is my body changing?
Different  all the time,
Why do I get so cold inside?
within this body of mine.

I ask myself these questions,
time after time after time.
Why do my legs and hands turn blue?
Why my legs won't bend?
Why is my mouth so sore?
When will all this end?

Why have parts of me dried out?
My female bits no more?
Why other parts of me dribble
out my fluid sometimes landing on the floor?

Why do I cough when I eat?
Why is eating such a bore?
The food gets stuck inside
No enjoyment any more!

Underneath this skin
trapped within.
There’s insects running free
I want to itch them out
They really bother me!

Why my eyes they itch?
Why I want to cry.?
Why I can not sleep? Please,
Tell me why oh why!

I'm getting really tired
I’m loosing energy
I know I'm a complex mixture,
with having lots going on inside of me.


I never win the lottery
my numbers never picked
but when it comes to bad luck
I can join the crew!

I call it the lottery of life,
the one you can not choose
the one that chooses you.

The lottery will change you
The lottery I’ve won
Takes away your independence
But can’t take away the real you

I used to care for others
but now they care for me.
My body may have changed
but I still have my personality

So look inside and you will find me
I can not smile anymore
But I can
Wink and wave at you.

Written by Liz

7 comments:

  1. Me too Liz - me too!! Lots of similarities but lots of differences too. This is the poem I took to my scleroderma consultants at Leeds - remember - where they were very touched by what they read and asked to keep it. ;) xx

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  2. Written From My heart ;)x ,,, More To come ;)x xxx

    Please Comment Everyone x

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  3. Liz,
    You entered my life the day you and Ron were walking past my boat with a box full of very young Border Terrier puppies. Since that day I have never stopped looking on you as a wonderful friend. Your fight against the cards you have been dealt is inspirational. It will be some months before I can give you a big hug but you know I think of you often and talk on the phone. Stay forever strong and you will be ok. All love Patrick and Smithy.

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  4. Thanks Patrick You Are One Very Special Friend Who Has Brought Happiness Into Our Lives Enjoy Your Holiday & Give Smithy A Big Hug From All Of Us ;)xxxx

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  5. That is so moving - you truly are an inspirational person xx

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  6. I love you Liz, I first came into contact with you when I was living abroad and I came upon your website. You helped me with advice, thank you Liz xxx

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  7. I Push Myself To Achieve Simple Things Every Day ... Then My Body Is Soooooooooooooooooooo Tired ... I Give In And Admit Defeat .... BUT I AM A FIGHTER ... It's Just Sometimes Scleroderma And My Ribs They Win ;(x ... Need Some NEED SOME ENERGY Need To Recharge.......Thanks Everyone For Caring ;)x

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